Emery Wager

by Jacob Smith

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Emery Wager grew up in Seattle, attended a prestigious private high school on his way to Stanford. He joined the sailing team and excelled while getting a degree in mechanical engineering. After graduation he took the highest paying job he could at a Silicon Valley biotech startup.

Then a conversation with a friend at a party changed things. It brought Emery to the United States Marine Corps and Afghanistan. After four years of service Emery returned to civilian life. After a brief stint as a ski-bum he returned to Seattle. Now he works for Gravity Payments.

Emery says, the truest thing he knows is: "I can control my actions, and that's the only thing I can control."

Emery first learned this by observing his parents, especially his dad who has a nice way of "not giving a shit" about things he can't control. Emery finds great liberation in knowing that his control only extends to his actions. That allows him to let go of worry about his thoughts, the actions of others, anything that isn't a direct action.

Emery touches on how he stays focused on just what he can control, when he is living his truth well and when he's not. Emery isn't comfortable calling this a universal Truth, but he couldn't come up with an example of where it hasn't been helpful for himself and others.

Emery has found time and again that the negative emotions that we feel track back to something that you can't control. Realizing you can't control it helps you let go and move forward to action. And our actions can affect just about anything.

This podcast is sponsored by Stefan Bennett.